Sunday, April 8, 2012


So long since my last post and I didn't mean for it to be that way! I'm in this weird place in my mind right now and that is probably not great blog material but I offer it up as an explanation of my blog's inactivity the last TWO months.

We are fairly settled into our new place and I am still getting acclimated at the new job. I work PRN(as needed)which has meant I am filling in for positions for which I've been trained and still trying to get all my training in all departments in the lab as an actual lab tech. So far I've learned how to do courier, phlebotomy(which I did already know, just had to get their procedures down), Outpatient Lab, Specimen Processing, and Desk Clerk which are the support positions at this lab and am in the process of getting turned loose as far as actual lab tech work here.

As far as the house goes, we still have stuff in the storage unit. Kerry is in some strange place in his mind, too, that I can't get him to talk about. He's not a talker anyway. We can't seem to get motivated to finish up everything. As for me, although I don't feel like I am missing the old house, as in it is the "home" I need to be in, I also don't yet feel like the new house is "home". The end result being that I feel like I am living someone else's life right now.

 Creativity...I am so mad at myself in this regard. I have the time now, but no FOCUS! Can't decide where to begin. Do I make some jewelry? How about those art journals begun but never finished or the ones bought but never begun? What about all those UFO's that I took the time to keep together and move to a new house? Sewing projects, yeah, I've got UFO's there, too! The oil and acrylic paints and brushes bought but never used, what about trying my hand at those? I fuss at myself mentally and tell myself what I know, which is, just start SOMEWHERE! This will be the beginning of creativity. Focus...where is it? Excuses, excuses, and that makes me mad, too!

I keep going outside right now, working in my new-to-me flower beds and wondering what I could/should plant. I've made a start on planting some herbs so that one day I can have another herb garden. Thinking about some vegetables, too, especially tomatoes and peppers which should be easy just in the beds already here. Started repainting our deck furniture and giving those a facelift. So, if this counts, I'm not totally lacking in any creativity, I suppose. Maybe it is a beginning of making this place home that for some strange reason is not starting inside but outside. I've tried analyzing "why" but not come up with the answer yet.

Right now I'm looking at some creativity prompts and challenges. Hoping... Maybe this will be what gets me to get started on something, anything. This whining is getting on my own nerves! I have been questioning whether I am even talented enough to be an artist. It would seem if I had something to say artistically I would be compelled to "say" it, "do" it, "make" it happen. Praying that I find my way.

Pictured at the top, two of the blessings that I can focus on!  These little boys are a joy to my heart and when I'm floundering, I only have to think of pictures like this and I smile. God has blessed richly in so many ways!

1 comment:

Jeanie said...

Your little guys are getting big -- and this post was in April! I hope things are settling in now -- sure looks like it -- and that Kerry has come out of his dark spot. Nice to see you posting again!

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